Couple Support

Boring Relationship? Routine Creep May Be at Fault

Has your relationship lost its vitality? Is it boring? If so, it may suffer from Routine Creep – too many routines occupying too much of your lives and the relationship, too much predictability and too little spontaneity.

Personally I like routine in many areas of my life. I start the day the same way almost every morning and follow the same routine at bedtime. I am in many ways a creature of routine, a fact that I suspect endears me to my cat, Rufus, who is also very much a creature of routine.

Following routines gives both Rufus and me a level of secure predictability in our lives. If I forget wake-up time in the morning, Rufus is almost certain to remember and make sure that I don’t oversleep.

Routine saves time and attention. Anything that’s the same way every day can be done on automatic pilot. That’s the benefit of routine and the danger – where marriages and couple relationships are concerned. Con't.

The Revised marriagesupport.com Is Online

After about a year and a half of pretty much continuous work, my revised web site marriagesupport.com opened late last week. The site includes over 600 of my articles about marriage and couple relationships, a growing collection of online-plus-teleclass Smart Relationship courses, a manual teaching conversation skills for couples, and a relationship-coaching program that teaches skills and attitudes for couple success.

The site owes a great deal to the diligence and skills of the capable folks at Flyte New Media in Portland, Maine and of my able, generous programmer and friend, Quita Ryder.

In future posts, I'll have more to say about marriagesupport.com and its approach to helping people with their relationships, but right now I just want to celebrate the rebirth of my site and thank the people who helped make that rebirth possible.

My Very First Post!

This is my very first post - and I am nervous. I’m not sure why – I write a lot and get read quite a lot. And from what I hear, blogs are a very spontaneous, rough hewn medium: Climb up on your soapbox, open your mouth and sound off.

So why should I be nervous? I’m sure that it’s partly because in this medium I am determined to be personal. Not just My Convictions, but here’s the guy with the convictions - not exactly naked, but perhaps not entirely clothed either.

The professional stuff that I write is My Conviction stuff. It is all earnestly believed and felt, and it all comes from my experience. But you wouldn’t know that from the writing, because I almost never use the pronoun “I.” (See for yourself – visit marriagesupport.com, and read a few of the articles.)

I want to do the blog differently. I want to mix the professional voice and the personal voice. I want to wear the relationship coach/counselor hat and take it off now and then – under which, you know, I am fairly bald.

Not scary to be professional. Not scary to be personal. Somewhat scary to be both – in the same communication.

Or is it excitement? Fear and excitement are right next door from each other – like the top of the rollercoaster ride. Something tells me - this is going to be an exciting ride.