Marriages That Are Blessed

Some married couples are blessed with a connection that doesn't fail. They are openly affectionate with each other. They sleep nestled together. They make love and feel close. And they didn't get married a year ago. They may have been together for a decade - or longer. Some were sweethearts back in high school.

They are the blessed ones. Those of us on the outside of such deeply affectionate, connected relationships wonder how did these two ever get to be that way. We ask and hear, "We were best friends from the beginning," or "We have always loved each other." The answers don't satisfy. They don't tell us how we ourselves could ever have a relationship like that.

We may be tempted to dismiss such couples with an offhand "Well, some people have all the luck." That would be our misfortune: Something more than luck is at work here. Yes, such couples often started out with a deeply fundamental connection that both trusted. In that they were blessed. Life gave them a big gift.

They could have squandered it, though - but didn't. That wasn't luck. It was their achievement. They had the good sense - and the restraint and discipline - never to violate their commitment to each other, never to wrong each other so deeply that the connection between them got severed. They knew all along what they had in each other and protected it.

We could do that even now, late in the game. Maybe we don't have an easy, deep connection. Still we can value what we've got in each other and protect it. We can work not to hurt each other again. We can start from where we are and consider it a good beginning. What do you say?