When I’m working with a couple, I sometimes find it helpful to meet with each partner alone for a session. I often find that the way they see themselves does not match with the way they are seen by the other person – so much so sometimes that I want to get them together and say, “Let me introduce you to each other.”
An example: I remember a session with a woman who complained bitterly about her husband’s coldness to her. She told of missing simple affection and cuddling together in the evening. She cried while confessing that sometimes she wanted to be held and comforted and felt so lonely and abandoned when this never happened.
Clearly this was a woman who was in touch with her need for basic physical connection with her spouse and saw herself as soft and vulnerable. On the other hand, her husband, during his individual session, described his wife as “sharp” and “accusatory.” He claimed that she regularly interrogated him. Never once did he even hint at softness or vulnerability.
What was going on? Quite possibly the wife was all that both she and her husband said about her. She did want affection and at times comforting, and she was sometimes sharp and accusatory (especially, perhaps, after she didn’t get the affection she needed but did a poor job of asking for).
And undoubtedly, because of their individual past experiences, she more noticed her vulnerability and need and he more noticed her sharpness and aggressiveness.
These two needed to have a problem-solving conversation, free from mutual accusation and defensiveness. The discussion might have begun with the wife saying to her husband, “The way I want to be seen is not the way that you see me. What can we do about it?”




Article is very close to truth. Partner should try to understand each others need.
Posted by: Jude | September 07, 2006 at 02:28 PM
Article is very close to truth. Partner should try to understand each others need.
Posted by: Tanning Bed | September 07, 2006 at 02:28 PM
Interested in ? Link to our site! Also pictures:
Complete information about is offered to your attention on our portal the. It becomes more clearly on the pictures:
There were difficulties with , do not hesitate – ask about See it in details:
You receive useful materials on the questions, connected with themes of on pages of our site. Also pictures:
The information presented on our site, will be interesting to everybody concerning to . Besides that, only at our web-site you can find such detailed pictures:
Can’t find anything about ? Find everything you need at our portal! More details in those pictures:
It is possible to get at our site, having set searching request by words: . Besides that, only at our web-site you can find such detailed pictures:
If to you to have to adjoin often with , we will help to solve all your problems. Here we have few themed pictures:
There is complete information about on this portal. More details in those pictures:
You will find actual information about operations with . More details in those pictures:
mickey shore car audio
amica auto insurance
buy cheap canadian car insurance quote
australia car insurance online quote sports
45 auto
auto site
early car built in illinois
auto site
auto site
auto site
korenetorpi981
Do you have great desire to learn about ? Our server is ready to satisfy your interest. Pay attention to pictures on this theme:
If you are interesting in questions with - , transit on our site under the link … It becomes more clearly on the pictures:
Pages of our site are devoted subtleties to work with .
On our site you can familiarize with Also pictures:
On our portal it is possible to get information about questions you interesting in, for example . More details in those pictures:
The full information about only on our site! Besides that, only at our web-site you can find such detailed pictures:
Having chosen our site, you receive the exhaustive information on work with . It becomes more clearly on the pictures:
Data about are presented on our web site. See it on the following pictures:
On pages of our site presents timely answers to the questions concerning . It becomes more clearly on the pictures:
Our site offers detail information on next subjects: . More details in those pictures:
Posted by: Bpmhalrqxz | December 12, 2011 at 03:43 AM