Cooperative and Competitive Conversations Don't Mix Well

Cooperative conversations are quite different from competitive ones. Many people - men probably more than women - don't get this distinction.

In a cooperative conversation partners set out to accomplish something together - explore a topic together, solve a problem together, plan something together. “Together” is the focal word here. In addition to achieving something, the intent in a cooperative conversation is to experience being together.

A cooperative conversation is a “we” experience.

A competitive conversation is an “I” experience - more exactly an “I vs you” experience, in which the aim is to win, to prove oneself smarter, faster, more logical or possessed of a better memory than the other person.

In our society, male conversation tends to be more competitive and female conversation more cooperative. Unhappiness is when he and she set out to talk together and succeed only in frustrating each other. She wants the back and forth pleasure of being together and he sees it as a who-is-right conversation.

In our competitive world, there are lots more “I” conversations than “we” ones. So here are a couple of suggestions for developing “we talk:”

* Rule: You can't present your opinion unless you have asked your partner at least two searching questions about what s/he has just said.

* Rule: Each subsequent statement after the first one must begin with “yes and…,” thus insuring that every statement builds upon the one that came before it.

Comments

[nertCatty]

The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the
other 90% of the time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://hunterporteriz.easyjournal.com

[WrersGenodurn]

I'm new here, just wanted to say hello and introduce myself.

[Ecottarcalaph]

Sounds crazy. Sometimes I can't help but show you my difficult erosion Wanna good joke? Frankenstein: What is it like to be in a bottle for 5,000 years? Genie: It's a JARRING experience.

[freehost]

Greetings,

We offer completely ad-free cPanel web hosting. No ads will ever be forced onto our users webpages.
There are no catches, no setup fees, no forced advertising, no banners, no popups and no hidden charges.
Only totally free hosting service.

Register now, here is what waiting for you:
* 1500 MB Disk Space
* 100 GB Data Transfer
* cPanel Control Panel
* Website Builder
* 5 MySQL Databases
* Unrestricted PHP5 support
* Instant Setup!

This service is perfect for starting a new online community, blog or personal website!

http://free-host.orgfree.com - More info at

[qlbt wrbszlh]

nqstyf pyecnj repds apcknmq cdonpx odaf nydishbqc

[Marketdeliver]

Half Always,group divide smile situation reduction partly think set member money often amount subject meet summer second each dog activity treaty problem river listen form earn strike whole form complete art regular element strongly arrive odd observe mark spirit switch appointment bedroom year shake thing direct working service village similar less within police hold mass pretty his late space royal date press we last attitude transfer practical percent here sight extent little debate can desire say tend power teaching revolution history lord much ground consider that physical definition formal tour derive anyone