Don’t Respond Often Enough, and Your Relationship Will Die

Looking for a conversation, one spouse speaks to the other. The other doesn’t respond. The first spouse tries again. Still no answer.  Do you know what usually happens next?

The first spouse continues, at least for a while. However, the friendly tone that accompanies “talking with” eventually become the harsh, scolding tone of “talking at.”

Then when still there is no response, and the possibility of a two-way conversation has completely died, one-way talk continues bitterly, inside the head of the one who originally just wanted a conversation.

Responding to each other feeds the relationship. (After all relationship is relating.) When there is seldom any response – except an occasional harsh, unfriendly one – the relationship starves and eventually dies.

Inventory your responsiveness to each other. How much do you really talk together? How much of what each of you says expects – and gets – a response?  How often is the response friendly, how often unfriendly? Does the way that each of you responds to the other promote open  communication? Or does it discourage open communication or even make it  impossible?

Consider that response is a measure of whether or not something is alive. How is your relationship doing?