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« Couples Counseling Is Like Dancing School | Main | Don’t React Blindly. Find Your Stance and Follow It »

June 11, 2007

Couples - Save Your Relationship from General Distraction

Do you know about General Distraction? It is an often overlooked malady that infects most of our lives. Why overlooked? Because we are generally too distracted to notice how distracted we are. Hence General Distraction. We are simply pulled in too many directions — yanked around  by myriad competing demands on our attention. The result is that little in our lives gets the attention it really needs. And that definitely goes for life with our partner.

Like any supposedly growing thing, marriage requires regular feeding for it to do well. Focused positive attention is what makes relationships thrive.

Here is a simple, easy way to combat General Distraction and easily give your relationship the attention it deserves. Do this exercise with your partner:
• Each of you ask your partner, “In a couple of words, tell me how you would most like to be treated by me.” (Expect to hear answers such as - “affectionately,” “with interest,” “sympathetically,” “with respect,” “positively.”

• Once you find out the quality that your partner most wants you to show toward him/her, ask what, for example, you would be doing when you were approaching your partner with respect, interest, good humor, etc.

• With your partner’s help, develop a variety of ways that you could act toward your partner in what your partner tells you would matter a lot to her/him.

• Now the “doing it” part: Each day pick one way in which you will give your partner your focused attention, showing respect, affection, friendliness or whatever else that person wants from you. Your gift to your partner - once every day; that’s all - just once.

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Comments

your article is a gem of wisdom that is said in a very simple way.

Thanks you, I will use with the clients that come to our services.

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